It has now been a whole year since I began writing my book. The last weekend of the month of May I attended “Wordspring”, the spring event offered by the Writers Federation of New Brunswick (WFNB). It was a wonderful weekend filled with workshops, a panel discussion, presentations, the sale of books, and much more. I met authors, editors, publishers, and received so much information. I left, feeling full of all this knowledge, and was anxious to apply all that I had learned. I came home, looked at my book and suddenly I felt overwhelmed! The book will most likely not be published this year, and if I go with a traditional publisher, it may not even be published next year. Some publishers are now accepting books that will only be coming out in 2021. It was clear to me now that whether you chose to self-publish or are fortunate enough to be accepted by a traditional publisher, it is a long and arduous process.
The more I tried to improve my writing and tried to apply all I had learned the more discouraged I became. Doubt introduced itself: “This is crazy, whatever made you think you could write a book? This chapter does not fit here, that paragraph is all wrong, there is a chapter missing and the last chapters are poorly written!” I put my book down. The image in my mind was that I had just dropped it and there it laid, broken and in pieces. I could not put it back together again.
Two weeks passed; I did not touch it. Occasionally I would glare at it. It was still broken. Then, I visited my son who is a professional actor and he reminded me that this is all part of the process. It was true. I remembered that when I created workshops, when I worked on a paper which needed to be submitted, or even when I worked on a painting, there would almost always come a time when I felt overwhelmed. Where nothing seems to fit or make sense. It is then that I would have to step back, take a break, return to my first intention and choose to keep on working at it. I do want to write this book and I will finish it. I must trust the process.
Thank you for hanging in there with me.